I’m not talking about who lies more. Or even considering why she lied to me, so many times. Not saying, I’ve never lied. (at least, I never lied to her) I’m not a doctor just a boy, a geek, an self-proclaimed expert of google. I will use some information I found here and there and go with it. Actually, just a quote:
You basically have three choices: 1) ‘Fess up. 2) Make up a story, any story. 3) Try to distract him/her.
In my case, the girl seemed to make up a story as well as swear on someone’s life to make the false story seem truer. Which, at any rate didn’t work what so ever believe it or not; I’m not sure how people can do this, especially swear on someone’s life when you know what you’re saying is completely false, untrue and so distant from any truth available.
After the liar has lied, what do they want more than anything? Yes, forgiveness. Go freakin’ figure. I mean yeah, it is the right thing to do, but only within due time. But no matter what you say or do, it matters, what I see.
So as the forgiveness-guilt-trip begins, and both walk down the dreaded please-don’t-do-this lane, the tears fall, voices become soft and everything’s a blur.
Let me escort you into some insight. She begs to start over with trust. She begs to start by forgetting the past. She begs and begs almost enough to allow you to over-come such a hole in a rocky road to simply, let go of what has happened. But wait, you can not. There is something you must do before you allow that to happen and that’s the cell phone check.
By all means, never ever try pulling a guilt trip, with trusting someone while all the time you had complete control over someone else’s phone. She had my phone in her hands more than it was in mine. Checking over my text messages, sent, received, missed calls, dialed calls to incoming calls. But the one time, the single time I wanted to see her phone (okay, maybe second…the first time, I had no idea what exactly I was looking for) I was not allowed, for not only one reason but two.
The first reason being, we need to start off with trust. The phone doesn’t matter. The second reason, it’s in my car because I didn’t want to bring it here to create a distraction.
Rough, right? Almost sounds logical. But no! Everyone knows when something is up, something just isn’t adding up. I wasn’t letting go of not seeing the cell phone. Deep down, I could just tell, I had to see that cell phone. She pleaded her case but I wasn’t having it. Finally, after two, maybe three guilt trips…we left the house.
Down to drop her off, I insisted I wanted to see the cell phone. She said, “there is no reason. Nothing is on the phone you don’t know about.” Somewhere before all of this happened, she said, “I don’t care, it is just a phone and there’s nothing I’m hiding.’ Well guess again bucco…obviously you’re hiding something.
Finally, after basically ejecting herself out of the car as bread pops out of a toaster she leaves my car to run through traffic jumping over a bus, rolling off a car’s roof and sliding through her window to land safely in her seat, she finds the cell phone. I watch as she goes through the cell phone. I knew what she was doing. She knew what she was doing. She comes back over, and finally decides to give me the cell phone.
We all know what happens here, everything is missing. Well, actually, ‘auto-erase’ was enabled and well, that’s what happened…or so she claims. Turned out, auto-erase wasn’t even enabled till I turned it on to ‘test’ it. Look, stupid-head, auto-erase doesn’t delete anything except for the old messages when new messages are retrieved so they can be stored. Don’t try and fool a computer ‘almost’ genius. Please, just don’t.
Later that week, she decides to be someone new. Some one she hasn’t tried before. She loses the idea of lieology, secretology and hide-it-all-olgy. The only question is, has she really? Probably not. I know that as well as any stranger. Anyone, ANYONE! can see right through that load of shenanigans.
Furthermore, she claims she will do anything and everything to make things right. Because, she knows we are meant to be together…yet when I asked, ‘was that before or after you decided to lie to me all those times?’ her face went blank and she couldn’t speak anything except mutter the words, “wow, good question.”
More or less, things truly have changed. Look lady; don’t expect me to trust you. You ask me “why I’m so upset,” and that’s because I am fighting myself to trust you and not to trust you at the same time. I will always think lying is cheating and both are the most dishonest a human can do, especially a girlfriend. Oh and please, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you and your little ‘brotha from anotha motha’ cause I haven’t. (hi, twizzler!)
Do not sit there and expect things to be perfect as if you never committed any of this. Surely, I’m not perfect, because no one can be perfect alone. Sure, I said a few mean things, often, and I broke up with you…but who wouldn’t? Honestly, Prince Charming would of ended it all too.
Everyone asks me constantly, “why are you even attempting to work things out?” “Joey, you know exactly where this will all end, once a liar always a liar.” I know but I want to see it be different, for once, I want to prove everyone wrong. For once I’ll be right about something not relating to technology, just once and I’m hoping with all my doubts this is the once that I’m completely right.
I will forever have my doubts with you, you seem to be able to shatter my heart, lie to me, deceive me, put everything back together and still make it out alive. I don’t know how you do it, but if I had one wish, I’d wish for you to just stop everything and just let us out alive and you lose all the horrific intentions you have ever had.
But that won’t happen…because:
I believe that everything happens for a reason. Therefore, people change so that you can learn to let go. As, people do not change, only the situations do.
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